At the Starving Artist Baking Company, my love for goodies combines with my penchant for simplicity to create one irresistible product that will quench your sweet tooth and keep you coming back for more: balls. Yes, that’s right, balls. My one-of-kind sweet treats are not quite candies and not quite truffles. They are… well, as I said, balls. They aren’t baked, but they aren’t raw. They aren’t cakey, but they aren’t gooey either. Not exactly crispy, but certainly not mushy. They are, quite simply, unlike anything you’ve ever tasted.
For now, I have two flavors. The first, and thus far the most revered: Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls. If you are a lover of peanut butter cups, then these will ruin you. Reese’s will no longer be good enough. Like everyone else you will be baffled by the almost incomprehensible texture that will only compel you to eat more. This old family recipe achieves a sort-of-crispy sort-of-buttery texture through the blending of 100% natural peanut butter (only peanuts and salt) and a small array of secret ingredients that are rolled up and enrobed in semisweet chocolate…. What? I’m allowed to be mysterious.
The other flavor, equally as desirable but totally different, is one that will surprise you (in a good way). They are my Zebra Balls. So simple is the recipe, and yet so substantial is the punch of flavor in these black and white beauties. Made from ground Oreo cookies, locally brewed espresso, butter, a little bit of sugar, and finished off with thin stripes of white chocolate, these little gems will make you say “holy s***” as you reach for three more.
So if you’re looking for a special treat for your next party or office function, or if you need a simple thoughtful gift for a loved one, or if you need something to pop mindlessly into your mouth while crying alone on your couch, to hell with cupcakes, forget chocolates, think BALLS.
Below are answers to some of your burning questions.
Dave. I must have your balls. Where can I get my hands on them?
Currently my treats are available only to those residing in or visiting Los Angeles. And no, they cannot be shipped. Bummer, I know. You really should consider moving. Since this operation is just one person – me – I am keeping it low tech for the time being. If you’d like to purchase balls, simply email me at email@example.com and we can coordinate the sale. I can deliver balls anywhere in Los Angeles for a fee or you can pick them up from me at my residence at a scheduled time. My balls will soon be available at local coffee shops and vendors – I will post a list of them here as they get on board.
So wait, are you a bakery?
The Starving Artist Baking Company is a licensed cottage food operation. This means I do all my baking and assembly in my home kitchen, which has been inspected and approved by the Department of Health. I have no store front and I am not permitted to ship my products, nor can I sell outside of Los Angeles County.
Are your balls raw vegan gluten free kosher organic?
I’m a restaurant/food store/coffee shop owner/manager. Can I sell your balls at my establishment?
Yes! My permit is Class B, which allows for third party sales. There are a variety of options for selling, including a jar for by-the-ball sales and sealed packages of 4. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s set up a tasting!